You did it! You have completed your resume, spent hours practicing for your interview and you not only made it through the process, you also nailed it. Or, perhaps your situation is a bit different. It isn’t success from getting a job. Maybe you’ve moved to a new city or new country, heck you may have changed your peer group and are looking to start on a clean slate. Adjusting to change doesn’t happen overnight.
You’ve put in a lot of hard work to get to this point. So, now that you’re there, how do you make the most of it? A study suggests that only eight percent of people achieve their goals. This being said, what are these eight percent doing differently from the 92 percent that never gets there? According to researchers, they begin with a very specific goal and they rely on a powerful support system to get them through the challenging times.
You don’t have to be part of that statistic, though. Here are five golden rules that you can take to help you succeed in entering a new job, group or community.
Purchase a Notebook
First things first – enjoy the process, it’s a pleasant game. Staying ahead of the game means to remember and write down everyone’s name you have a conversation with (this is a major key when there are many people). There’s probably no way you will remember all the names in one go, that’s okay. The process of writing it down will help you remember them until you do. “What’s your name by the way” will suffice, followed by the answer and your response “ah, okay cool, my name is…”. Many personal development and self-help books say a person’s name is special. It’s their name; everyone wants to feel special, they carry that name with them their whole lives, it only makes sense that people like it when you remember it, especially if you are new.
You might encounter someone seeing you writing it down or reviewing it, just tell them you like remembering people’s names, people respect and admire that. Don’t be creepy about it either; keep a page with names, that’s all. This especially goes well if their name is unique. The faces will match the names and vice versa over time. Do your best not to ask anyone twice, and address people by their first name. Intentionally ask for their names. One thing I’ve learned in college and always stuck was that personal branding does not belong to you, your branding belongs to the audience and what they make of it.
This is a non-negotiable. You can laugh with everyone while they do it, but never, ever initiate. If you want to talk about people behind their back, do so when they deserve the praise and be genuine about it. Like the decent human being, you are or at least should be. The only situation I can think of is a clear enemy, which shouldn’t be part of your job, group, or community to start with. Take them down with class and confidence.
Be an Ambivert
You don’t need to talk to everyone but enjoy every conversation. As an ambivert, you have oversight on everything, and it’s easy to pick up cues, body language, additional people and surrounding information.
Take it publicly, silently, in sight, with actions and sometimes words. People automatically follow, it’s like a wheel you turn. It’s the epitome of influence. Take responsibility for yourself on specific actions and be consistent. Allow space for people to join you, it’s okay if you leave things 90 percent complete in many cases because it allows people to join and help you.
Never Forget You Are A King (and a Queen)
You’re unshakeable. I can tell you straight up, and I would tell anyone if they ask the right questions, I feel like a king. I act as king, if not an emperor. This isn’t hubris, this is a mentality. You do this without looking down on anyone. Your behaviour invites similar behaviour, and people like to associate with that. Robert Greene said it best, be royal in your own fashion.
- Have respect for service works (security, culinary, receptionists, custodians, etc.). This always comes in handy. Also, it’s just decent and shows class.
- When in an agitating situation, slow down. There is almost no lower bound to how slow you can go, if the world is in chaos, the slower you go, the better it can be. It keeps you and your influence in control.
- When people talk about their achievements or something they have accomplished, praise them. Simple praises make great relationships. Don’t overdo it, though.
- If someone disrespects you, ignore them, stay stable and if necessary, explain shown behaviour towards you back to them in simple plain language. You should indicate clear boundaries. Which means be calm, confident, pleasant, and assertive.
Have anymore golden rules? Let us know about them in the comments!