I know what you are thinking.
What is a simp? Why is Russell Wilson a featured image? Where are you going with this?
All valid questions that will be answered but if you know, you know. Take this piece with a grain of salt. We are all aware that trends come and go; slang and culture can get repurposed, resurfaced and come back full circle, but somethings just become a part of us. In this case, a part of our vocabulary.
One term that continues to grow with popularity is the word simp. The definition of the word boils down to a man that puts himself in a subservient or submissive position under women in hopes of winning them over, without the woman bringing anything to the table. There are many other definitions of the word but this one is omnipresent. It is willingly putting your own self interests aside with the expectation (usually covertly) of something in return.
The origins of “simp” predate to the ’80s. Many argue it’s derived from the word ‘simpleton’. Some even say the word was characterized in the ’70s when Blaxploitation films were on the rise, but in recent years the word seems to have catapulted into mainstream popularity largely due to social media powerhouses such as Tik Tok. From the look of other blogs, the term appears to have been hijacked. I’ve seen it being acronymed into other meanings, redefined and misused. I’ve seen articles declaring that the word is rooted in misogyny. I don’t think that’s the case. It is harder to decide who you are than who you are not. This is why it is easier for people for cop out and use labels that suit their agendas. The miseducation ends today. Class is in session.
A Simp’s Tale
Some men are used to rejection, others have nerves of steel, and some men know that a few bad relations with women aren’t a reason to shut down, shut off, and pull the plug. To keep a long story short most men start out as simps largely due to either naivety, ignorance or lack of self-respect. When it comes to game they’re playing it without the rules, instructions and blindfolded. That’s a tough combination. Change comes from within and it starts with introspection. Then self-respect, self-improvement, and humility. It all goes a long way. Like the old saying goes, experience is the best teacher.
Let’s make one thing clear here, women can be simps, too – but that’s a whole other post. Generally speaking, most people like to pretend their choices didn't negatively affect their outcome. Click To TweetThey come to the conclusion they are probably victims, and finally, they point the finger at men or women, or even society for the fact their self-promised fairy tale never came true. That’s a simp’s tale for you.
Russell Wilson is the proverbial “good guy”. He comes from a middle-class family, private school record; showed out in academics and sports, a devout Christian, with no criminal past. It also pays to mention that he is a Superbowl champion. He is married to Ciara who was introduced as the princess of ‘Crunk&B’ on her debut single “Goodies” from the album of the same name in 2004. She’s had many high-profile relationships over the past decade, one including Future, her former fiancé and father of their child of the same name.
There seems to be a popular notion that Ciara is the proverbial embodiment of the type of women that ignore “good men” (See also: Cassie and Karrueche) who make questionable life choices, then look for the type of man she ignored to come to clean up their mess. To be fair, all three of my examples did date men who didn’t want to make an honest woman out of them. Even if marriage was on the table. Also, Ciara and Future did get engaged, but it just didn’t work out. She even made a song about it. The song is okay, vocally not so much, but there’s no real personal responsibility that she acknowledges in the record. I mean Future did have about three different baby mothers at the time and the subject matter of his music could be an indicator of the type of character to expect. But I mean, people also make mistakes and deserve a second chance. To each their own.
A disclaimer: if you make your personal life public, expect public critique.
People who call Russell Wilson a simp conflate the meaning; he’s just a typical nice guy. He’s corny but in a good-natured kind of way. He lacks “rhythm”. Russell Wilson is the type of guy that wasn’t picked on or bullied in school but clowned for not being a natural. You respected him though, because he always had his sh*t together and lived by his convictions. Russell was also in a long-term relationship; a two-year marriage that ended in divorce. Definitionally speaking, Mr. Wilson is not a simp.
Since we’re about talking public figures, someone who is more in line with the definition of simp would be Drake. “Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?” – JAY Z. Let’s be honest, most of Aubrey Graham’s songs are at best controlling and manipulative. He does this while eloquently toeing the line of being fake sweet; he has this morbid gripe that no one wanted him before the fame and now that he’s ‘the boy’, he wields this power to potential suitors. He’s a shapeshifter of flows and remains at the top of his game in doing so. Whenever I hear a Drake song, I instantly get this premise of him being this hopeless romantic with an ulterior motive. Is his music good? Yes. It’s sublime. Is he a simp? Technically.
To quote what an OG once said: “The truth may be an offense, but it is never a sin!”. If you embody the values of a simp, then sycophantic, brown-nosing behaviour is your schtick and it is used to get attention and relationships. Some examples of simping include but are not exclusive to:
- Putting women before themselves.
- Constantly searching for validation and attention from women.
- Letting women walk all over them.
- Constantly getting curved.
- Rob Kardashian.
- Using chivalry deceptively in hopes for gratification (usually sexually) from women
- Justifying simping.
A lot of simping is rooted in fear. Men aren’t allowed to talk about being nervous, worrying about liking a woman too much; protecting our feelings and our concerns of settling or being cheated on. Men don’t have the luxury to admit relationships frighten them. Regardless, these are still excuses. Man up, communicate and take responsibility for your feelings.
The key is knowing when it is really on you and when it isn’t but more often than not; you were directly involved in your shortcomings. Every man has had a simp journey or a simping moment or two, or three.
Have you learned or are you still making the same mistakes?
Let me know your thoughts below in the comments.